


i will never be your type.

by frostfall



Series: For You [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28315761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostfall/pseuds/frostfall
Summary: Being the futurist he is, Tony always knew his day would’ve come – the day when Steve would leave him for someone else.Tony just never dreamt he’d be the placeholder for Steve’s childhood friend who’s supposed to be dead.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: For You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073960
Comments: 22
Kudos: 328





	i will never be your type.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maguna_stxrk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maguna_stxrk/gifts).



> To [goodmorningbeloved](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodmorningbeloved/), I hope this is worth the wait!!!
> 
> Title comes from [Your Type](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYjJWUPKn-k) by Alvvays.

Being the futurist he is, Tony always knew his day would’ve come – the day when Steve would leave him for someone else.

It’s his destiny, his curse as a Stark. Or according to Howard, how Starks are meant to be.

Tony shouldn't be upset. It’s not like Steve and Tony are dating, let alone in love, in Steve’s case. Their relationship's built on casual sex and friendship. Nothing more. Tony's long accepted the fact he's meant to be a placeholder for the person who would heal Steve's lonely heart.

Tony just never dreamt he’d be the placeholder for Steve’s childhood friend who’s supposed to be dead.

He can’t seem to look away as Steve and Bucky embrace, can’t seem to spin on his heels and hightail out of the room. Maybe it’s the masochist in him cementing him in place to remind him why he could never, ever call Steve his. It’s already terrible enough that Tony offered to help Steve search for Barnes (he's weak for Steve's smile, sue him). But to be one of the people to help pick Barnes up? To help wipe away the triggers from Barnes’ mind? All because Steve flash those pretty blue eyes of his? All because Tony gave up his pathetic little heart to Steve?

Howard would've had his head if he isn't already six feet under.

“Tony.”

He startles, whirling around to meet Natasha’s careful gaze.

“You doing okay?”

“Yup. Just peachy.”

Natasha arches an eyebrow.

Tony rolls his eyes. “It’s nothing. Don’t be such a worrywart. Take it from me. Frowning will age you—”

“ _Tony_.”

He scowls. He loves Natasha. He really does. But he hates how she could see right through him sometimes, hates how they're more alike than he’d like. 

“Just tired. Today has been a long day, you know? Picking Barnes up, helping his ass and not to mention—”

“Get some rest.”

Tony grins. “Tell Cap congrats on getting his buddy back,” he says, clapping her on the shoulder. “Okay. Thanks. Bye!”

He could still feel her skeptic gaze on him as he dashes off. Good thing she doesn't try pressing him for details. The last thing he wants to talk about is that he just lost Steve to a fucking ghost, anyway.

A ghost who’s back to life and everything Steve loves and longs for.

It all makes sense now. Sure, Steve held a torch for Aunt Peggy then. But maybe Steve and Barnes had something brewing between them. Hell, Peggy and Bucky could've shared Steve.

Not that his aunt ever told him. But he wouldn't be surprised if it's true.

Tony tries to put the thought out of his head as he gets ready for bed. But even as he slips under the covers, his mind insists otherwise.

What would they be up to right now? Would they be discussing their feelings? Hug? Kiss? F—

He can't find it in himself to finish that thought without his stomach churning. Yet his traitorous brain won't stop imagining Steve kissing Barnes the way he kissed Tony, touching Barnes the way he touched Tony, telling Barnes—

Tony groans, burying his face in his pillow.

He shouldn't have kissed Steve while he was high on adrenaline and rage, shouldn’t have let Steve fuck him against the wall of his workshop, shouldn’t have offered Steve to do it again and again and again because Tony’s been in love with Steve since New York burned and he never could resist fire and pain.

How could’ve he been so stupid? How could he have fallen for Steve? For Captain America? It was supposed to be just no-strings-attached, sex. Feelings weren't supposed to be involved. Ever.

All his life he’s been told he could never be enough to be like Steve. What makes him think he could even compete to be enough _for_ him? What makes him—

He feels the bed dip.

“Tony?”

Tony braces himself before flopping onto his other side to meet Steve’s concerned gaze in the dark.

“What're you doing here?”

Steve's brow furrows. “Nat said you were tired. Thought I’d check up on you.”

“I’m fine. Just tired,” Tony replies curtly. “Where’s Barnes?”

“Settling in in one of the guestrooms. Hope that’s okay with you.”

_Nope. Definitely not okay. Very, very not okay._

Tony does his best to keep his grin from slipping off his face. “Of course it is? _Mi casa es tu casa_ and all that jazz.”

Steve’s eyes narrow. “You know, I could put him up in my old apartment if you want—”

And to give Steve more initiative to spend time away from here? Absolutely not.

But then Tony remembers his place and makes a decision.

“What I want,” he murmurs, slipping onto Steve's lap. Tony drapes his arms over his shoulders, brushing his lips against Steve's ear, “is for you to fuck me into this mattress.”

Even in the dark, there's no mistaking Steve's dilated pupils or his cock hardening under him and god, Tony wants him so fucking much. He wants him for the rest of his life.

So he does what he does best.

As usual, Steve kisses back with the same intensity, pressing Tony closer to his body. He tastes of coffee and salt and everything Tony adores.

Tony wonders if Barnes knows of Steve darkening Tony's doorstep. Tony wonders if Barnes feels the same way about Steve's touch, Steve's kiss. Tony wonders if he’s tasting him on Steve’s lips.

The urge to hurl is strong. He deals with it by pushing Steve onto his back.

Tonight, he’ll give it as good as he can give. Tonight, he’ll give Steve anything and everything he's ever fantasized about and wants.

Tonight, he’ll make Steve forget about Barnes.

He’s made Steve forget one too many times before. He can do it again. It’s one of the few things he’s good at.

If Steve notices Tony putting extra effort in taking him in his mouth or marking his neck or kissing his breath away, he doesn’t show it. He responds just as, if not more beautiful than before. His whimpers and moans of ecstasy are both music and agony to Tony’s ears.

And when Steve finally sinks into him, Tony feels like his heart's going to burst with both happiness and anguish.

“Tony,” Steve breathes into his neck.

Tony shuts his eyes. Steve sounds just like heaven.

Starks don’t deserve heaven.

* * *

Tony doesn’t get to break things off the next morning.

Steve isn’t in bed, which isn't surprising. It also isn't surprising to find him in the kitchen with Barnes.

Just the two of them.

Alone.

“Tony,” Steve begins, beaming in a way Tony has never seen before and fuck Tony’s heart is shattering again, “this is Bucky. Bucky, Tony.”

Barnes’ eyes roam over Tony’s face, sizing him up. A retort is at the tip of Tony’s tongue but he beats him to the punch.

“You’re Stark’s kid.”

And just like that, all the fire in Tony’s goes up in smoke.

It's stupid how a dumb comment like that sends him spirally. Hell, Barnes didn't sound mean-spirited or anything. He doubts Barnes is capable of being mean-spirited.

That's the thing about Tony. He's always been too much. He feels too much, thinks too much, loves too much. People have left him because he's too much. It's no wonder Steve wouldn't look his way.

“Mm-hmm. Howard’s spawn. That’s me. Yup, yup.” He swipes the steaming mug of coffee off the counter before striding away. “Now, uh, if you gentlemen would excuse me, I’ll be going now.”

Tony ignores Steve’s protests, zipping off to let JARVIS whisk him down to his workshop.

He’s not ready yet. He hasn’t had the time to prepare himself for the fallout.

“JARVIS?” he says, jumping into the elevator. “Work—”

“Tony!”

 _Oh fuck_.

Stupid, _stupid_ super soldier stamina.

Steve stands between the doors, holding them back with his hands, his eyes clouded in concern and confusion. “Tony, what—”

“We need to end things.”

Steve jerks back as if he’s been stung.

Fuck. This isn't how Tony wanted to break things off.

“What?” Steve whispers.

“You heard me. We need to end this—” Tony gestures between them. “This—thing. We can’t be fuck buddies anymore.”

Tony expects Steve to be elated, relieved.

He never expected Steve to look and sound wounded.

“Oh.”

_Don't make me explain. Fuck, please don't ask me to explain._

“Right,” Tony says, trying to keep his voice level. “Now if you’d excuse—”

“Can you tell me why?”

_Because your precious fucking Bucky is back._

“Just thought that we’re better off friends.”

Steve’s frown deepens. “Am I not good enough? Do I have to—”

“God no. You’re the best I’ve ever had,” Tony blurts out, startling the both of them.

Fuck, he’s so stupid. He's so fucking stupid. He just can’t seem to keep his stupid mouth shut.

“Anyway,” Tony says as he pushes Steve out of the elevator, “I’m going to go back to work. Okay? Okay. JARVIS, workshop.”

Steve's eyes widen, his mouth parted. But then the doors shut and just like that, Tony's left alone with a shattered heart.

With a shaky hand, he raises it to his chest tentatively.

He can do this. He recovered from a broken heart countless times. He can do it again.

* * *

The rest of the week passes in a blur. He spends his time avoiding Steve and Barnes by throwing himself into his work and distancing himself from group activities.

He’s well aware of his friends’ concern over his sudden change of demeanor. Hell, even Steve’s tried cornering him and blowing his phone up with calls and messages too. In the end, Tony puts a stop to it all by locking himself up in his workshop.

But of course, his luck runs out one night.

“C’mon,” Natasha says, magically appearing in his workshop at three am like the ninja she is, “we’re watching Star Trek.”

Despite Tony’s protests, he later finds himself sprawled on Natasha’s couch with a box of pepperoni pizza between them.

He’s glad it's Natasha keeping him company. She always seems to know the right words and things to say and do. Rhodey and Pepper would just nag at Tony and try to strangle Steve. Thor, Bruce, and Clint are great and all but they’re not the best at things like this. Steve and Barnes are out of the question.

“You know all that shit in your head?” Natasha begins as the credits begin to roll. “They’re not true.”

“And pray tell, what’s in my head?”

She purses her lips. “That you think you don’t deserve anything good.”

Tony blinks.

“You do, you know? All of us do. I know what’s it like to feel like you don’t deserve things. I get it.” She wipes the grease off her fingers with a napkin, his eyes still trained on him. “I still feel the same way too.”

Tony frowns. “Hey, you definitely deserve shit. You don't have to keep repenting and apologizing for your past.”

She sighs. “I know. It's hard sometimes. To stop feeling that way. But really, talk to Steve. Tell him.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “Nah. No way. Not even if you pay me a million bucks. Which I don't need but—”

“Steve's been a wreck since you guys stopped being fuckbuddies,” Natasha interrupts gently. “He misses you.”

Tony snorts. “I highly doubt that. I mean, he finally got Barnes back after years of moping. He probably forgot I existed by now.”

“He lives in your tower.”

“It's called Avengers Tower now. Doubt anyone remembers this place being called Stark Tower.”

“Dumbasses," she mutters, rubbing her temples wearily. She pins him with a scowl, her emerald gaze inciting fear in Tony's weak heart. "Seriously. You boys need to talk. Clear the air. I promise you. You'll like what you hear.”

Tony quirks his lips to the side indulgently. “Maybe. I'll think about it.”

Natasha rolls her eyes before pulling Tony into an embrace. He catches a whiff of lavender and jasmine and almost chokes on a sob.

“Don't think. Do.”

Tony opens his mouth, a retort on the tip of his tongue. The alarms go off.

* * *

It’s been a while since villains showed up in New York. The last time Tony could remember, Doom had decided to go ape shit and send in his Doombots to terrorize the city a couple of months ago.

Now, MODOK and AIM seem to be in the mood to do just that.

“Fucking MODOK,” Tony mutters as he shoots another beekeeper down. “Goddamn fucking floating head. Fuck, when I have his ass—”

“Bucky!” Steve yells over the comms.

Tony whips his head around, staring in horror as that giant egghead aims his lasers in Barnes’ direction. Barnes who's moving too slowly for an assassin.

Barnes who Steve loves.

And just like that, Tony's fate is sealed.

It all happens in a blur. One moment, he’s yelling at JARVIS to boost his thrusters. The next thing he knows, he's pushing Barnes away from MODOK’s lasers and then pain, so much pain and there’s so much yelling and why is Steve screaming? Why is he crying? Tony just saved his soulmate’s life? He should be grateful. He should be thankful. He should—

* * *

He should be dead.

Consciousness creeps in hazily. Judging by the steady beeping and the white walls, he’s in the tower’s infirmary.

There's also a hand in his, calloused and warm. Tony quickly yanks away.

“Tony?”

Steve’s staring at him with a weary gaze. He’s still dressed in his uniform, blood and sweat caking his skin.

He looks like he’s just seen someone die.

“What’re you doing here?” Tony asks, cringing at how rough he sounds to his ears.

Steve's expression darkens. “What do you mean— Tony, you almost got yourself killed! Don’t you _dare_ do that again! I—”

“So what? I’m alive. You—”

“You flatlined twice.”

Tony stills.

The anguish on Steve’s face is downright palpable. Tony doesn’t think he’s seen him this pained. Then again, it could be the painkillers and wishful thinking addling his brain.

“I thought… I thought I was going to lose you, Tony,” Steve murmurs, giving Tony’s hand a squeeze. “I couldn’t… Please, don’t send me away. Not again.”

“But Barnes—”

“Bucky’s fine. He’s—”

“No. I meant—” Tony swallows, glancing away. “You love him.”

“What’re you—”

“You love Barnes. And I know he means a lot to you. I couldn't just watch you lose the love of his life again. Not when you've just found him.”

Steve's eyelids flutter, gaping like a fish. Tony would've found it hilarious if his heart isn't tearing itself to pieces.

“And… And I’m okay now. I'm fine. Alive. You can go now. I'm sure you’ll rather be with him right now. You could call Nat in or Bruce or—”

Instantly, Steve’s pained expression morphs into fury. “Why the hell would you think I want to be anywhere but here?”

Tony scowls, his heckles and humiliation rising. “Look, Cap. I’m a big boy. I can handle playing second fiddle. I’ve always had my whole life. No one wants me. No one loves me. So don't act like you do. So get out of here and see your fucking soulmate and leave me to—to—”

Horror dawn on him as he realized what he's just said.

Oh god. Oh fucking god. What has he done? What has he fucking done?

Stupid, _stupid_ anesthesia.

MODOK should've just finished him off. It would've been kinder. So much better.

Tony clears his throat, his gaze to the ceiling. “Look, can we forget everything that happened the moment I woke up? ‘Cause the last thing I need is Barnes’ fist in my—”

“You idiot.”

Tony freezes, his heart in his throat.

“You fucking idiot. I—”

“Language,” Tony croaks.

Steve’s glower deepens, his fingers digging into Tony’s hand. Tony would’ve said something if he isn’t too busy freaking out over Steve’s sudden anger. “This isn’t funny, Tony. Bucky and I— We’re not a thing. We never have been.”

Tony’s eyes narrow. “Then what the hell are you waiting for? Go—”

“I love you.”

It's Tony's turn to have his jaw dropped, disbelief coursing through him.

Just as quickly as the anger appeared, it vanishes from Steve's face, replaced with hope and caution. He's looking at Tony as if his heart is in Tony's hands and not the other way around. Which can’t be true because in what world does Tony have Steve’s heart?

“Is this a joke?”

Steve rears back in alarm. “Of course not! Why would I joke about something like that?”

“I don’t know!” Tony shrieks.

Steve heaves another tired sigh, running his fingers through his hair. “For a genius, you’re so stupid.”

“Hey—”

“I’m in love with you. _You._ Not Bucky. You!”

Tony tries to not let himself hope. “But—”

“Bucky’s like a brother to me. I’m actually kind of grossed out that you’d think—”

“Um, hello? You’ve been a wreck since he died and a bigger one since you found out he’s alive. Excuse me for thinking that way.”

Steve wipes his face with his hand, exhaling. “I guess I can see why it might look that way. But Bucky, he’s… He’s one of my greatest failures. I couldn’t save him and I guess… I guess if I couldn’t save him then, I could save him now.”

Tony nods. “I think I know what you mean.”

“Yinsen?”

“Yinsen,” Tony affirms. “But if you’ve been in love with me, why didn’t you ask me out?”

“I just... I just didn’t think you were interested in me like that.”

“We had sex, Steven,” Tony replies dryly. “I let you put your dick in me. Multiple times. For almost a year.”

Steve’s cheeks turn a deep crimson. “I just thought— When you asked me to be friends-with-benefits with you, I just felt lucky, you know? Flattered. That you liked this.” He gestures to his body. “And I guess I was just happy to take whatever I can get.”

“Do you think I’m that shallow?” Tony asks, hurt.

Steve groans. “God, I keeping saying the wrong things,” he mutters before raising his voice. “I thought so. At first. I mean, what else can I offer? I’m just a kid from Brooklyn. No one special. You could have anyone. Why settle for me?”

“What you mean 'why you'? I love you because you’re you. I didn't fall in love with your muscles and super strength and your spangled ass. I fell in love with your smile, your kindness, your compassion, your— I'm gonna shut up now before I say something dumber.”

Steve’s eyes are glistening, his lips parting in awe. Tony wants to kiss it off his lips, to taste love and happiness, to know what it’s like to kiss someone who cherishes him the way he cherishes them.

“I could kiss you right now if you want.”

Tony laughs, his cheeks heating. “I really don’t want anyone running in to find out that my heart rate spiked because Captain America’s making out with me. Later, maybe.”

“Promises, promises,” Steve tsks as he gets to his feet.

“That’s more where that came from.”

Steve grins, his gaze fond and heated.

His hand's still in Tony’s. He feels at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I made a playlist for this [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2oiZYsnnOs1L16imjIoC8w?si=eC5V4QTYQdm5CqtD5UFuvQ).
> 
> You can reblog it on Tumblr [here](https://nethandrake.tumblr.com/post/638484427060707328/i-will-never-be-your-type).
> 
> I'm on [Tumblr](https://nethandrake.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kapteniron)!


End file.
